So who was the first one to……?

So who was the first one to……?

So my wife and I were at dinner on Friday night. The server brought our meals and we were enjoying some fresh Gulf seafood when I was suddenly overcome with this question. Now this was not one of those once-in-a-lifetime epiphanies. No, I think this question or at least the root portion of this question very often. I suddenly knew that this question had to be my next blog topic because I AM TELLING YOU, I ASK THIS A LOT!!!!!

Who was the first person to look at “this thing” and think or even possibly say aloud “That might be good to ‘whatever’.”?

At the time, I was going through the arduous task of preparing my baked potato for its inevitable end. Suddenly, it came to me but I put it away while my wife and I were enjoying conversation and dinner.

But later, I let it all come rushing back and I thought, “Who was the first person to decide it might be a good idea to attempt to eat the root of the potato plant?” I mean, it’s underground. It’s dirty. They are hard when you first dig them up. I mean, I would never have said, “MAN, you know that would probably be good if I sautéed or baked it and then served it with some butter, sour cream, chives, bacon bits and CHEESE (DUDE, I LOVE CHEESE!).” AND WHAMMO!!!! Suddenly I have four more! Who thought it would be a good idea to whip/churn milk until it became butter and then be edible in that form? Who thought the same process could make cream? And then letting it sour would be a good idea? And, you know what? Let’s dice up some of this grass and eat it! And let’s cut the fatty/meaty portion of a pig into strips and FRY it in a skillet and devour that! And WAIT…..don’t forget that cheese is actually fermented milk that has separated into “curds and whey” and the curds are then used to make “cottage cheese” and other additives such as bacteria that aid in the refined “cheeses” of today! I MEAN COME ON!!!!!!

But seriously, the WHO is not so much the important part to me…. It’s more important that I want to know HOW and WHY!!! What made somebody stop in their tracks and think, “I bet that you could take little chicken legs and dump HOT sauce all over them and start a culinary revolution! (Not to mention millions of shirts with owls on them!)”

Why do I get so lost in this series of questions? I think it’s because I don’t have that in me. Those things don’t come naturally to me. I don’t know why they don’t but they don’t. And I can’t figure out if I am mad that I don’t have it or not. My wife’s got it! She’ll say, “Someone should invent a so-and-so.” And, the next week, she finds it in a catalog. I keep telling her that I will fund the project when she comes up with one that doesn’t already exist.

So the next time you are at an Italian restaurant and the calamari comes out….. Or you are eating seafood and the oysters are being shucked a few feet away….. Or the escargot arrive, STOP and ask yourself my question in whatever way appropriate.... like, WHY WAS A FRENCHMAN SO HUNGRY THAT HE WOULD THINK, “Heh, Heh, Heh…. Those snails are looking pretty tasty, no?”